Transpersonal Psychotherapist Kasey Crown on Navigating Trauma, Grief, and Healing

Rip & Tan: We are experiencing community-wide trauma and grief from the LA fires—and many of us may not realize we’re internalizing the trauma. What are some signs to look out for and how can we help ourselves and our community process what’s happening?

Kasey Crown: First, I want to say how truly sorry I am for the devastation and loss the people of Los Angeles are experiencing right now. As a trauma therapist who is frequently a witness to the healing beyond some of life’s most challenging obstacles, this particular event hits home. While it’s true that we are now living in a world that sees and experiences more frequent collective trauma, the destruction that these fires have caused is hard for anyone to wrap their minds around. In many ways, this kind of trauma defies logic and every explanation to try and make sense of what has happened falls short. My heart is with every person, family, school, business and first responder navigating the aftermath of these fires. My most heartfelt condolences to every person who has lost a friend, loved one, neighbor, home, business or pet.  I am so very sorry.

To answer your questions about trauma and grief, I’ll start by saying that they often go hand and hand.  However, I want to help define some key differences and offer support to anyone who may be too overwhelmed and dysregulated to know which next steps are necessary in the self-care process. Grief is a process that everyone who experienced the LA fires will face traversing over the long term. Trauma, on the other hand, does not have to be a long process if we can intervene early enough with the necessary support, tools and practices. In fact, addressing acute symptoms of trauma can prevent longer-term PTSD from developing. PTSD or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, can impair functioning and prevent us from moving through the necessary grieving process. 

Acute Symptoms and Interventions

There is no question that the fires in Los Angeles would be defined as a “traumatic event.” However, it is actually how our nervous systems respond to an event that tells us whether we are experiencing acute traumatic symptoms. In the immediate aftermath of the fires, I saw a bit of everything from dissociative responses (the body’s way of disconnecting from the events for self-protection) to states of hyperarousal (anxious states of fight or flight brought on by extreme fear and despair). Some dissociation is temporary and the result of our survival instincts activating to compartmentalize the trauma itself in order to take immediate action. Remarkably, the body often knows when it has re-established safety and can “feel its feelings.” If dissociation lasts even after physical safety has been established, and a person finds themself numb, we will want to intervene with tools for bringing the person back into their body. This includes grounding exercises, breath work, sensory-focused mindfulness practices, and other practices that connect body and mind, like journaling, tapping,  and more. 

Because trauma symptoms can show up at any time, we want to be on the lookout and we want to keep checking in with friends. As you can imagine, there are many ways trauma manifests itself. Mindfulness practices are the most effective at helping us down-regulate and return to the resilience zone. I recommend using an app like Calm or Headspace to listen to guided sessions to stay out of effort and be a more passive recipient of guidance. 

Community

The difference between an individual and a collective trauma is that with a trauma that affects an entire group of people, there is a sense of community, comradery, unity and mutual resonance that can be established. Trauma can be an exceptionally isolating experience. However, leaning on community is one of the most effective ways to ameliorate PTSD. Get together in groups to support one another, show up in service of others even if you too have lost everything, talk together often about your neighborhood and schools and what you loved about them. We want to avoid a kind of trauma bonding, where we risk getting stuck in a loop commiserating over feeling like victims and instead bond about our shared love for what’s been lost and what can never be lost.

As community forms around a shared experience like this one, people will recognize and act when one community member is succumbing to hopelessness and despair. It is a process of lifting each other up. Love becomes a throughline and those who were once neighbors will become family. I have a feeling that in the coming years, places like the Pacific Palisades and Altadena will be unlike any others in LA, in that they will be full of people with perspective and wisdom that can only come from having survived an experience like this. 

Rest

We can only run on adrenaline and cortisol for so long before we crash. We want to intervene before adrenal fatigue brought on by stress begins to shut down the body. We need to contain our energy and open ourselves to receiving energy that is helpful to us.

If you notice you are taking yourself to the edge, slow down. If you notice that your friend or family member is taking themself to the edge, offer to help them so that they can rest. I recommend this same approach for helpers. Many of us who are supporting friends and family have a sort of survivor’s guilt. Having witnessed people we love lose everything, we want to share our resources, time and energy in as many ways as possible. This is one of those beautiful examples of light inside the darkness. Self-care is important for helpers to ensure that we can spread our goodwill out over time. 

Mantras and Journaling

One of the hardest parts of experiencing a trauma that includes such unexpected and monumental destruction is holding a wider lens. It is easy to dip into despair and hopelessness because it is true that what has transpired is an absolute travesty. It’s awful and painful and nonsensical and outrageous and unjust and unbearable and all the things you can think of. It’s true.  And…It is also true that you will get through this. You don’t need to know how or when. And every day that your mind trails off into a story of despair, bring it back to a few basic truths. Repeat a mantra or two or ten that are helpful to you to keep the brain from succumbing to its negativity bias. It’s a very simple yet powerful tool.

And if the mind is cluttered with muck, write. Get out all your thoughts, without edits, just write with reckless abandon. Say all the things you are thinking but don’t want to say out loud. And if it feels like psychological debris passing through you that you want to let go of, rip it out of your journal, tear it up and throw it away. If it sounds like poetry or guidance or some other form of art, keep it tucked away. These practices will keep the energy moving and prevent the mind from getting stuck in despair. These practices help us to hold the knowledge that more than one thing is true at once. It can be awful and beautiful, destructive and transformational, devastating and uniting. As much as possible we want to ensure one foot remains outside of the quicksand. 

Professional Support

Many of the suggestions I have offered above are a sort of DIY trauma healing. They are suggested tools and practices for tending to our injured bodies and minds. But sometimes, DIY is not an option. If you or someone you hold dear is experiencing trauma symptoms with little ability to self-regulate, it is important to seek professional help. Many therapists in Los Angeles and neighboring cities are offering free and sliding-scale sessions to those affected by the fires. Among the therapies I recommend are trauma-informed integrative psychotherapy, EMDR and somatic therapy. Please ask for help! 

Grief

Grief is a profoundly important and healing process, one that all human beings will experience in their lifetime and that teaches us valuable mental, emotional, existential, and spiritual lessons. While trauma is often a catalyst for grief, unresolved trauma can in fact be an obstacle to the healing process. Grief has movement and eventually leads us to acceptance and wisdom, which are fundamental for well-being. Grief is something that we move in and out of often as we experience transition, and loss throughout our lives. As we integrate experiences, they become a part of who we are, not an obstacle to becoming who we truly are. That doesn’t mean any singular experience defines us, but rather that every experience can teach us something about ourselves. Trauma is a state of disintegration that impairs functioning and must be interrupted for the grieving and integration processes to effectively unfold.

As we grieve, we might oscillate between shock, denial, anger, anxiety, bargaining, depression, acceptance and wisdom. But all of these phases and stages are not a guarantee. Depending on where you are in your journey it may look wildly different from your neighbors or friends. The key is to make space for all of it and to let go of any expectations about what it is supposed to look like. 

Faith

The spiritualist in me would be remiss in not mentioning the importance of faith at a time like this and I believe it is fundamental to a successful healing journey and grieving process. One of the many reasons I chose to orient myself to the idea that we are all Soul’s having a human experience is because it makes hope possible. This does not mean that everything happens for a reason. Because I don’t believe that to be true. The Universe is made up of systems that dissolve into chaos.

What a faith-based orientation allows is the ability to zoom out and recognize every hardship as an opportunity for gaining greater wisdom and showing up with more integrity and love in our lives. It may be a while before people can find meaning amidst this epic and profound loss, and that is totally okay. Everyone is on their own timeline and entitled to their own process.

Grieving with faith means that some higher part of ourselves, the soul, even if it feels distant, is there holding in trust and love and optimism even as the human in us dissolves into despair, heartbreak and fear. If ever I have had faith that a community faced with disaster would not only survive but thrive beyond loss and devastation, it is now.

Rip & Tan: How do you approach helping others who may be struggling, but don’t know how to ask for help?

Kasey Crown: There is no right answer to this question. I would assume that most people are not great at asking for help and this is especially the case if they are traumatized and their thinking is disordered. Think of the things you might need at a time like this and also consider what gift you as a person are best suited to offer people. All of us have special gifts to share—for some, it’s cooking nourishing food, while others are great at shopping and running errands, while others might be willing to help with child care or more bureaucratic stuff like navigating insurance, and others still may be great at listening and holding space for all the feelings. Just take something off your friend, your loved one or community member’s plate. Check in with them about how they are feeling and if they are aware of anything specific that they might need.  If they don’t know, just keep showing up and let them know you are there.

The best help you can offer is to listen, to validate their experience, and to let them know you love and support them. Given the circumstances of this particular trauma, the journey to recovery and healing will be long and opportunities to show up in service will evolve over time.