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Moon Cycles with Desirée Pais: Revolutionary Self-Love

Every New Moon I look forward to the perspective and insights Desirée Pais will reveal. Today marks a New Moon in Aquarius, which is focused on self-growth. Self-love is another important part of this moon phase, which is a commonly celebrated theme in Desirée’s inspirational musings. (See last month’s post about the New Moon in Capricorn). It’s only appropriate that this idea comes right before Valentine’s Day—a holiday celebrating both internal and external love. Desiree, a meditation guide and the natural beauty alchemist behind Benshen, charges us all with loving ourselves more by making an actionable plan and taking small, positive steps forward. XXJKE


DP: Today we are graced with a New Moon in Aquarius. There is no sign more empowering in the element of ushering us towards transformation than Aquarius, which invites us to step into a new level of personal growth. The growth that Aquarius inspires us to experience is one that elevates us above the sleep-state we may be or have been living in and opens our eyes to our advancement — spiritually, physically and emotionally. It’s asking us to look at parts of ourselves, comfortable or not, and decide if we can continue to live with those aspects or if there some way to rise above them. Aquarius is incredibly intellectual so it’s giving us the insight we need to see where we can make changes that are steady and begin to define us in an entirely new way, in a way that radiates empowerment, intelligence and grace. 

If we tune in and take advantage of the opportunity, new moons are the cosmic doorway to new beginnings. They set the stage for us to break out of old cycles and welcome in new patterns and behaviors. And with this New Moon in Aquarius pushing us to be the highest version of ourselves, it’s a powerful time to take inventory of the places in your life where you feel like you experience insecurities, disempowerment and resistance.

In my own experience, this moon has been building up its presence for the last week. I have been having clearer and clearer insight into the spaces where I feel insecure, whether it be with my career, my health, wellness, beauty, relationships. It has been shining a bright spotlight on all of these areas, which has not felt the most comfortable, but it’s with being present with the discomfort that I could begin to decide that I don’t want to exist in that space anymore. I wrote down all the areas I was experiencing insecurities and doubts about myself or the situation. Next to each area, I wrote down what was blocking me from feeling secure and powerful. I noticed that while each area, when playing the stories in my head, seems so vastly different, on paper, the discrepancy was the same: a lack of discipline, a pattern of mine that has been challenging to break. I felt relieved. I made an attainable action plan. Key word: attainable. I didn’t set any massive, unrealistic goals. I set three intentions/action steps I can take daily or weekly to help me experience more discipline in my life. 

Another exercise I began doing at night before bed was I wrote down all the action steps I did take towards those areas so I could see all the great things I was doing for myself rather than focusing on the bad, as our minds tend to love to do. I started to realize I was actually taking a lot of wonderful initiatives but I was way too in the habitual pattern of focusing on all things I didn’t do, magnifying them in my mind, experiencing the guilt and shame cycle day in and day out. By creating a new ritual of focusing on taking small, attainable action steps, followed by an evening list of all the steps I completed and then some, I began to magnify my power and instill a revolutionary — just like the Aquarius energy — feeling of self-trust, especially in an age where there are so many entities out there that want us to feel bad about ourselves. The Aquarius energy is inviting us to be different: to step into a space of utter self-acceptance and advancement out of self-love that we actually stand out in a royal and empowering way that causes others to follow suit. 

I would like to leave you with a quote that moved me when I read it and was fuel to the fire of all the realizations on how lacking discipline was leading me to feel insecure: 

“A woman’s beauty — her beaming beauty — is her discipline. A woman should establish her personality and her goodwill by these three qualities: she’s extremely disciplined, she’s extremely dependable, and she’s devout. Three qualities: these are the three basic characteristics of a beaming, radiant, and enlightening personal projection of a woman.” – Yogi Bhajan 

If you would like to go deeper into this beautiful practice, Desirée offers one-on-one sessions and hosts Moon Gatherings in New York City. Email for more information.


Photo: Sarah Elliott